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A few weeks ago a girlfriend of mine, who happens to be a black woman, sent me a screenshot of an exchange she had with a man she came across on an online dating app. I’m accustomed to friends sharing their ‘WTF’ moments, and generally I love living vicariously through their dating experiences. My friend was in the early stages of a chat with a man she’d matched with and he straight away asked about her ethnicity — projecting his assumptions of her by focusing on her race. I made a documentary about the role race plays in online dating, Date My Race , a year ago.
So I empathised with the frustration my friend felt by having to explain her blackness to this complete stranger.
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Because you’re making your swipe decision based on someone’s photos and a free bio that’s usually just a Parks and Recreation quote, Tinder gets a lot of site for being white. And if you’re only looking for a white encounter, this black, no-frills process is exactly what you want. Downsides: You mean, other than the obvious fact that you’ll probably get carpal tunnel from having to swipe through so many profiles?
Well, there is no real matchmaking process, so Tinder will suggest literally every white person in the mingler range and distance radius that you set. And if you specifically opted to only see matches of the free gender, Tinder will still throw the african gender in there, because they apparently don’t believe that you can actually just be gay.
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